"Gracious and Attractive"

     Colossians 4:2-6 {NLT}
    
     "Devote yourselves to prayer, with an alert mind and a thankful heart. Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning Christ. That is why I am here in chains. Pray that I will proclaim this message as clearly as I should. Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone."

     Why did I highlight the last part of this passage? This is something people (especially close friends) have been reminding me of this last little bit. I struggle with my conversations being "gracious" and "attractive," especially when I am stressed or overwhelmed or don't think I can do it anymore. God has been teaching me this last week about it. He uses people to speak to us, and when He highlights the same thing in Scripture, it is time to really listen and pay attention to what He is saying. This is what God taught me from this last part of Colossians:

     We need to be careful in our conversations. We need to make sure that they are indeed "gracious" and "attractive" so that we can be leading people to God instead of driving them away from God. If we focus our conversations on things that are, as Philippians 4:8 says, true, right, pure, lovely, honorable, and admirable, we will be more likely, and more able to lead people toward God, instead of driving them away with "unattractive" and "ungracious" conversations.

     This is hard to do sometimes. I know, especially when people upset me, that I am not likely to be very "gracious" and "attractive" in my speech. Did you know that our thoughts are important as well? Philippians 4:8 (as referred to above) is talking about our thoughts. As Jesus says in Matthew 15:18, "But the words you speak come from the heart - that's what defiles you." What we are thinking can be just as bad as what we are saying (or, in some cases, worse than what we are saying). Our heart is the center of us. Everything springs forth from the heart.

     How can we practically "put into practice" what we have learned? Well, I have a few suggestions. Like I said before, this is something I struggle with, so I am definitely no expert on this! The best place to go is to the Bible or to ask the Lord in prayer.
Here are a few ways we can learn to be "gracious and attractive" in our conversations:
     1) Listen! We do not have to agree with them. We do not have to even support what they are saying. But we need to be gracious enough to let them speak their mind, and then we can share our opinion on the topic.
     2) Be gentle! Do not force something on someone. It is disrespectful, unattractive, and not at all gracious.
     3) Stop! If you cannot be calm and rational with someone, do not talk to them. Walk away. Come back and talk to them. I have had to do this when I have gotten into heated debates, or even arguments with people, or if I am upset with them about something. Remember what Mom always taught... "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!"

     In the end, most of it is common sense. Be kind to people, gracious and forgiving in speech and in manner. If you are unable to do this, walk away and calm down instead of saying something that could be very damaging to someone. Remember Philippians 4:8 and apply that to your life, in every aspect, and you will be well on your way!